Here we have the “Holiday” episode for 2009. Recall that Castlevaniathon went into November, meaning December 2009 had the previous episode, Little Red Hood, and this episode, Winter Games. Yeah, no Bible games this time around, just some frosty Winter gaming enjoyment. Okay more like frozen Winter crap.
What we have here is a game by the company Epyx, produced for the NES as a part of a “set” of Winter sporting themed games — There were versions for the Atari 2600, 7800, and NES, as well as the Commodore 64 and other computers of the era. Interestingly, the Atari 2600 version has 7 different events in it, while the NES and Atari 7800 versions have 4 each, seemingly split between the two versions of the game, thus making the modest Atari 2600 version the “best” out of the set!
In any case, James continues through, wearing his trusty Atari jacket that we see for the first time in this episode (after all, he says “it’s fucking cold” which it actually is as I write this) and after dealing with the unskippable opening sequence and the worst name entry screen yet, he gets to the events.
We first look at “Hot Dog Aerials” or, the Ski Jump. Beyond the perplexing name, James can barely seem to actually land the jump. It’s like it requires way too much accuracy to be any fun.
He moves on to Speed Skating. This one’s interesting, as it shows the home computer roots of this game well, requiring you to press left and right on the d-pad to gain speed. On a C64 or Atari 2600 you would rock the joystick back and forth (think Mario Party) to do this — much less annoying to do. Beyond the control, James spends some time tearing into the “music” of the event. It’s awful.
Speaking of controls, another element of the game which shows its 8-bit home computer roots is the fact that it only ever uses the A button – the B button isn’t used at all in the game, matching how the typical Atari / Commodore joystick would only have 1 action button.
Moving on to the Bobsled, you have another event where you only use the d-pad. It’s got an incredibly confusing layout, but in reality all you do is speed up when you need to, slow down for turns, and shift your weight when you need to — the rest of the stuff, well, it’s useful, but not necessary to play. It is, as we’ve seen many times before in this game, and in so many games in the Angry Video Game Nerd series, a mess.
Lastly, we have Figure Skating, and this is the worst of all. James has no clue what to do. I have no clue what to do. Seriously, I have a copy of Winter Games and I’ve given it a try a few times (without reading the manual, I’ll admit) and have had no luck getting the girl to do anything more than fall on her ass.
James is stuck listening to the same droning music for far longer than you need to, only to get not even get a single point for even trying. In the end, he decides that playing Winter Games is basically “just pressing buttons” without any real interaction with the game! Absolutely terrible.
In the end, James decides the best thing to do will be to annihilate the game in every way he can. He reads the directions on the back (which actually belong to a different cartridge, an unlicensed game of some kind) before he proceeds to throw the game in the oven, then freeze it, drown it, pour alcohol in it, smash it with a hammer and throw it on the ground, tear it apart, and then finally throw it in the fireplace, disposing of it once and for all, all while festive music plays!
Final Rating: 4.0/5
When this episode originally aired, I didn’t like it that much. It felt like a bit of a let down after the previous holiday episodes, but as time has passed it’s really grown on me. Perhaps it’s the unique look the video has, since the Nerd is wearing the Atari jacket and wearing the hat, or maybe it’s just the fact that it was the first holiday special I saw when it was new – it’s since become kind of a regular tradition for me to watch and enjoy on Christmas day, along with the other “Bible games” episodes, so, in the end I have to rate it better than normal. It’s classic Nerd, what can you say really?
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