5 Things We *Know* The PlayStation 5 Will Do

Recently Sony finally got off its butt and actually announced some information about the PlayStation 5, including system specifications and details on its backwards compatibility or, more correctly, its lack thereof, but still left quite a bit to the internet rumor mill. I thought it would be nice to cut through the lies and attention-seeking hype-craving false-information filled videos and give you 5 things we know for an absolute fact that the PlayStation 5 will do.

1: The PlayStation 5 will play PlayStation 5 games.
Yeah, this one may be a bit obvious but the system will, of course, run games designed for it. That’s the purpose of new hardware, after all — to run software made for it that will take advantage of the capabilities this improved equipment will provide.

2: The PlayStation 5 will use Electricity.
Another one that may seem a bit obvious, but still is a fact none the less, the PlayStation 5 will operate with regualr old Electricity. No need to purchase fancy power or anything special branded by Sony, normal wall outlet power will suffice. Just make sure you buy a system rated for the electricity in your region.

3: The PlayStation 5 will connect to HDTV’s.
What good is a video game if you can’t actually see or hear what’s happening? That’s why, through the wonderful magic of the HDMI cable, the PlayStation 5 will connect to High Definition Televisions (including 4K sets) with minimal, if any, additional configuration necessary. How about that?

4: The PlayStation 5 will connect to the internet.
In the tradition of virtually every other video game console made for the past 15 years, the PlayStation 5 will will connect to the internet, most likely via either Ethernet or Wi-Fi connections, since those are the industry standard. This will allow it to do the same things other game consoles can do, like update at the worst possible times, download patches to games breaking them even worse than they were at launch, and allow you to play games online with people half your age who somehow have been intimate with every memeber of your immediate family! Lovely!

5: The PlayStation 5 will be sold at most every major retailer!
Okay, this isn’t so much something the system will do, but is most certainly a fact regardless, the PlayStation 5 will very likely be sold at most every retail outlet which has a reasonable electronics sections — especially those which have sold new video game systems and software before, they too will very likely have the PlayStation 5 available, meaning there’s not a single damn reason to pre-order the system or games, or pay scalpers prices if you want one. Be patient and a store you frequent will have a unit for you.

There you have. 5 absolute facts about the PlayStation 5 that we know for certain will be true. Oh, were you not entertained? I’m sorry, but sometimes reality isn’t as exciting as rumor, but the fact remains, it is reality. Rumors are just that, rumors, unless they are proven to be facts, and in many cases they are proven completely wrong. Sadly, no one gets called out for these lies, especially when they become big, common place news and years later people still believe them to be the case (see many of the rumors about the Xbox One which many people do still think are true.) What I list above may not be all that interesting to you, but unlike nearly everyone else online talking about these things, I didn’t lie to you – I didn’t make up facts as reality, and I’m not publishing this just to get attention. Well, I am but not in the same way — I want to prove a point here.

Obviously this article is, in a sense an April 1st joke. However, it was originally planed to be published over a month ago, before Sony gave any details about the PlayStation 5. I was late, as always, in getting it out and once that happened I decided to skip the whole project, only earlier today realizing this would be a perfect day to publish this entry, so here it is. It may be a joke, but the point of not believing the rumors, trusting only facts, and not giving in to “hype” in any form, is very much something the gaming community at large should seriously think about. We do ourselves no favors perpetuating the complete bullshit that’s made up about every piece of hardware before its release.

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