Welcome to the 7th day of Shitsmas, and for today’s present the Nerd is greeted with the PlayStation game V.I.P, based on the TV show of the same name starring the actress Pamela Anderson.
James wasted no time in opening up with something that anyone in my age range already knows — this woman’s name was everywhere among adolescent males in the mid 90’s for reasons that any little bit of research will quickly make obvious. She stared in Baywatch, did a few movies here and there, and had her own show in the late 90’s and early 2000’s called V.I.P, which this games is based on.
Since we’re in PlayStation territory this time around, James has a bit more to really rip into here. First off, even acknowledging the relative limitations of 3D graphics of the time the characters, especially in the pre-rendered cutscenes, look pretty terrible. Uncanny Valley levels are high here.
Gameplay is somewhat non-existant, which is the focus of criticism here: you just press a few on screen buttons when the game prompts to kick, punch, and beat enemies with your purse. Nothing else. It’s basically nothing but what would today be called “quick time events.”
That is, until you change characters where you’re actually shooting, a gun! It’s an arcade style shooting segment, but not done well.
James doesn’t pass up a chance to criticize the fact that the show’s entire basis, and thus a key element of the game (and the very essence of Pamela Anderson as a celebrity, when you think about it) is sex appeal.. or the attempt at such.
Add in the chance to buy cutscenes and images you’ve already see by normally playing the game and music that just isn’t fitting (not to ignore a “muck spread” reference thrown in for good measure) and you have a pretty complete mess of a game.
Final Rating: 3.5/5
This one was actually a little better than the previous Shitsmas episodes, since it felt like there was much more to work with in these few minutes. Yeah, it’s a more than average one, I’d say.